My dear Beard,
In this moment, I am sitting here in my little back yard, having coffee and planning what to do next for my work, aka my future. Consider the fact that I am now working so hard on 3 different projects, which I love so much but none of them has ever pay pack any little penny. They are all in their start-up phase, and I have to work even harder on some commercial writings and other stuffs to make my living.
Then I pause, this whole damn life thing is beautiful, isn’t it? Why am I worrying? Why am I complaining? This is the way of life I chose to live. This is the place I’m supposed to be. This is the person I wanted to become. Why am I questioning all these?
I just returned home after a couple of months in Europe. The trip was great. Despite how many times I’ve been to Europe, this beautiful continent is always my top destination whenever I want to escape the bustling and crazy Saigon. I remember I watched 5 movies in a row on the flight home. All of them seem trying to tell me what is the meaning of this life. Well, now I feel the need to write it down here, to answer all my questions this morning.
In that moment, in that plane, as I was watching the movies, my cells were multiplying and dying. The couple sat next to me were kissing, their cells were multiplying and dying. The flight attendants were busy serving dinner, their cells were multiplying and dying. The pilots were driving this plane, their cells were multiplying and dying. Every mind is made up of millions neurons. Every human being is made up of million atoms. They are all renewing themselves as we work, as we live, as we love, as we have sex… And one day, our cells, neurons, atoms will all die, give way to the new human beings.
In this moment, the world is constantly changing around us. Nothing is forever. Yesterday already passed away. Today is soon to be replaced by tomorrow. Our memories is fading. That is how we let go of the past and create a new present.
But you know what? Tomorrow is yet to come. We are still here. Yes, the most important thing is in this moment, we are still alive and breathing. Our hearts are still aching. All the planes are still flying, and moving forward. What we can do is learning how to breathe easier, how to move further from our mistakes, how to love our souls better, how to be more kind with others, how to trust in the moment, and how to accept this beautiful yet messy world.
So the answer for me is: I should embrace what I am doing right now, right here. I should appreciate what life has to offer at this moment (e.g: this coffee is fucking good). I should stop looking back and wonder where I’ve been or how far I’ve left to go. I should measure success by how much do I enjoy my work today? How much wonder in my eyes today? How much excitement I have for the new ideas today? Or how much love I experienced today?… I hope that also the answer for you in case you are wondering too, because today is the only thing that matters, but today will fade away soon, in few hours. Nothing remains the same when this second goes by.
Because right where we are in this moment – even in all this imperfection and mess and steps still left to take – is exactly where we are supposed to be. Thousands of moments led up to this. Hundreds of decisions and actions led up to this. Millions of tiny thoughts and mistakes and blessings have brought us here. So don’t worry, here and now is good.